Writing Has Saved Me.

I am someone who chronically suffers from anxiety since postpartum, as well as bouts of minor depression. This is something that I have tried to naturally deal with on my own. It isn’t easy, during the times when I am at my lowest, to get out what I want to say. Normally, it is during these times that I close myself off to the world and I don’t want to take to anyone.

In these moments, writing has saved me.

It has allowed me to share about my postpartum anxiety, speak on how it has changed my life, and also share natural ways of dealing with it. It has given me a community in those that are experiencing the same thing.

I have also found that since I have dealt with these things in the past few years, I have become much more sensitive and much more vulnerable. My thick skin is lacking in a way that it never had before, and my sensitivity to the things going on around me is at an all time high. I can’t explain why, but the things people say and do affect me so much more than they ever have.

When people misconstrue me for someone I am not, it cuts me to the core, when normally it would roll off my back and I would move on. I have melt downs when people take something that I say the wrong way, and I cannot seem to explain myself. It is a mystery to me in trying to figure out what clicked that I know care so much about what people think.

In these times, writing has saved me.

When I feel broken about some situation that has occurred, or I can’t seem to shake something that someone has said to me, I write. You may not see if here, and I may not even share it with anyone else, but it is so therapeutic and allows me to share my feelings out loud, even if it is only for my eyes to see and for my heart to pray over. I can come back to these words in my moments with the Lord and work through them when the time is right.

There are times when I am overly excited about something. I may have gotten a wonderful opportunity, but no one around me seems to understand because blogging and writing are not something that is a part of their world.

In these moments, writing has saved me.

It has allowed me to share my triumphs, my passions, my achievements, with those who understand them. It gives me a place to be excited about the things that are happening in my life, and people to share those joys with outside of my family and friends, who really know where I am coming from.

We also all go through hard times, and some are harder than others. There are moments when I feel like everything in my life is in flux and I can’t seem to take a breath. There is nothing falling into place, all of the choices I have are just confusing to me, and it is seemingly impossible to make sense of what is going on around me.

In these periods of life, writing has saved me.

There is a community that is built around writers. When you go through hard times like these and write about them, there are people who you don’t even know, and some that you do, who lift you up with inspiring and encouraging words. This isn’t to demean the importance of face-to-face support, but it is my firm belief that you do not need to live in the same city as someone for them to be one of your biggest supporters during hard times.

There are a lot of things in life that change. Although this blog may not be around forever (although I hope it is for a long while) one thing that I know for sure is that I will always continue to write.

Write for others, write for you all, write for myself… because writing has saved me.