Recently, we traveled back to my hometown for a wedding. It was amazing getting to spend some time with family and see friends that I hadn’t seen in years. However, I made a realization when I was there… I will never be the person I was before motherhood, again.

I always tried to cling on to the image of that young girl I was before I became a mom. The one that was really fun, had a lot of energy, loved going out with her friends on a regular basis, and could put them back with the best of them;)

The truth is, it just isn’t me anymore.

the person I was before motherhoodThe Person I Was Before Motherhood

Being back in my old town brought back all of the memories. The good, the bad, and the fuzzy (if you know what I mean). Before I had children, it was easy to get together with friends when ever I wanted. I was a free spirit that could roam around the city doing whatever at the drop of a hat, because I had no one else to take care of.

That girl is gone now, and being back in the town that I grew up in, went through my teenage years in, and turned 21 in, helped me to see that a different woman had taken her place. A mom of four beautiful children.

You know that feeling that you get where you just fit into a different place now? The girl who once had a home away from home in the downtown seen, is now the woman who would rather hangout at the park or go see the scenery.

Now, this isn’t to say that I don’t think I can have fun anymore. I do! I went out to dinner with some girlfriends while in town and it was a blast. I went to my old stomping grounds where I worked for over 6 years, and saw some of the same amazing faces that I had lived my life with all of those years.

That dinner was different this time, since I became a mom. I was no longer interested in shooting back as many shots as possible or stumbling blindly down the street. All I had to add to the conversation were stories about my kids. All I wanted to do was enjoy my drinks and be home at a decent hour.

Am I just old? Maybe… haha. 

But, none of these are things I regret. I love that I am a mother now. There are things that I can look back on and say that I miss at times, because life was so much more carefree when it was just me, myself, and I to take care of. While I am thankful for all of the lessons and the journey that I had before motherhood, I am so happy that I have four little ones to live my life with and make new memories with now.

So no, I will never be the person I was before motherhood. I am a better person now because I was given the amazing gift of children.

*Here’s to all of our beautiful babies*

joanna at motherhood and merlot