I know what you’re thinking… who could be sad about the holiday season? The truth is, I consider myself to be the queen of Christmas. I love everything about it, and I pride myself on making it the best that I can for everyone. However, I have a letter to those grieving this holiday season, because I am right there with you.
To Those Grieving This Holiday Season
It is amazing what the holiday season can do for us. It brings joy, and laughter, and so much happiness on a variety of levels.
But, for those of us who have lost someone, in any capacity, the holiday season is also a time for deep grief.
Christmas is always my most heightened season emotionally. Normally, this would bring mostly positive feelings. However, when you are grieving a loss, it can bring on heavy emotions that you may not be prepared for.
So I have a little note, from me to you, this season if you are in that position…
I am right there with you. I know that this season, while you are trying to fake that smile and engage in all of the conversations with people who don’t know your back story, is a hard one.
I know because I am there too, fighting back the tears while everyone is finding so much joy, trying to find my own happiness so that my children never see the sadness that I am feeling right now.
There is a gaping hole that reopens during the holiday season when you are missing someone, and I don’t think its something that can ever be replaced, at least not in a short period of time.
When I lost my brother two years ago, there was a moment when I didn’t think I could find any joy again. This year, I even went as far as to buy presents for every single member of my family, so that none of us had to go through the situation of a gift name draw (something we do every year) where he wasn’t in it.
It almost feels as though there is a fear in telling others about my pain. Like, I don’t want them to have to deal with the hurt that I am suffer, because this time of year is all about happiness and cheer!
I can’t tell you how to deal with the pain you are feeling, and I won’t be the one to tell you to get over it because “it’s the season of joy!”
What I can tell you is that your feelings are perfectly acceptable. They are valid, they are real, and they are necessary to healing.
Remember when you are sitting around the tree this year, that the person or people you are missing are right there with you, and even though they can’t be with you physically, a piece of them is forever in your heart.
*Cheers to those we have lost*