“You’re growing a human being!”

“You had a baby!”

“You didn’t even gain that much weight!”

As women who have had a baby, it seems like these are quotes that we get all of the time if we mention the fact that we are having self esteem problems after having our children or during pregnancy. Heck, I have even said a few of these myself to friends that are pregnant or in my head when trying to analyze my own feelings… psych major problems!

Personally, I think it puts us in a tough position. Of course we don’t want to come across as overly vain or unhappy after we have just been given the perfect gift in our new baby…I posted earlier this week about teaching toddlers gratitude, and I should practice what I preach. But at the same time, sometimes those feelings can be overwhelming.

confidence

Self Confidence After Baby

Out of all of my children, I never suffered as badly with self-confidence issues as I have since our twins were born back in June.

It isn’t even only about the weight. I mean, that does play a part. I shared about exercising after pregnancy and I still do that daily but weight does not come off like it used to. Before the birth of our twins, I was the most in shape I had ever been… then I got pregnant with twins. Unfortunately, body weight and appearance have become a constant area of criticism, for women especially. I can sit here and write that I really don’t care what others see me as and what they think about my weight, but I CARE about my figure.

I am a woman. We analyze every bit of ourselves and after we have children, there seems like SO MUCH to pick at and to judge about ourselves.

Again, here comes the “but you had twins!” line. To me, that just doesn’t justify anything.

My hair is falling out in clumps, still! This has been non-stop for three months now and it really seems like I am going to lose every hair on my head.

On top of the typically postpartum weight/hormonal issues, I recently had to have surgery on my face due to skin cancer that one of my doctors found right near my eye. They had to take about 1 inch x 5cm hole out of my face. If I didn’t have any confidence issues before…
skin cancer on face

It doesn’t seem like anything to some, and it may come across as so small and egotistical that I would even care about this little bandage on my face. But I am 25-years-old, and I have sizable scar on the forefront of my face due to cancer. It’s a lot to take in.

So… weight, hair, and face. Pretty much the three things that a woman tries to keep young and healthy for as long as possible.

So how do we, as women, get our confidence back after we have children? I wish I knew.

If I knew a quick fix, I would be happy to share it with you all.

On this blog, I seek to do nothing but empower other women. I realize that by sharing this post, on a topic that I would consider one of my downfalls (self confidence issues), it is not the most uplifting of things for other women going through similar things to hear.

But, I sit here and think about how reassuring it is for me when I hear other moms struggling with the same thing. Not because I want to see them struggle, but because it makes us all feel like we aren’t alone in the difficult journey of motherhood.

Motherhood and pregnancy are beautiful and they are a miracle, but they take a toll on our bodies and our emotions as women. I try to remember this verse whenever my self confidence issues hits an all time low.
Fearfully and wonderfully

So, I am having a major lax in self confidence and body issues. I am so happy and in love with my four children, but it is hard to focus on that when I live in this body.

I want to be able to build that self-esteem within my own children, but I know that the something that they have to learn, and it’s something that they will have to learn from me.

What are some of the things that have helped you with your self confidence after you went through pregnancy and delivery?

*Cheers to mothers, who are beautiful in every way*

joanna at motherhood and merlot