I can’t decide whether or not I am going through an early mid-life crisis, or if this stage of life is just extremely difficult right now with my kids, or if I just need a change. Whatever it is, I feel like my time as a SAHM is slowly coming to a close, as least for now. This year has been so trying for me. With the loss of my brother, a break from my Master’s degree, a new business, and being at home with four little ones who are 5 and under, life is nothing short of crazy. I have been toying with the decision of going from a SAHM to career mom and contemplating the pros and cons of each.
I chatted with a few mama’s on my Instagram page about their feelings on this, and I have gotten a lot of the same thoughts.
“There are so many decisions, I just keep weighing the pros and cons.”
“I think I want to go back to work, but there are so many things to consider when it comes to what to do with my kids during that time.”
Yes, to all of this. I am going through all of these same feelings right now, and I think they are coming on for a variety of different reasons.
SAHM to Career Mom
For me, these are the pros and cons I have so far. Please let me know in the comments what you think about this and whether or not you have gone through some of these same feelings. I am sure that other moms, like myself, would love to see that they aren’t the only ones who feel this way.
When I first became a SAHM, it was all I wanted. I just KNEW that it was going to be for me, and I would love every minute of being with my children. Mind you, I became a mom for the first time when I was 22 years old, so I was fairly young. After that, the babies just kept on coming and the life of being a SAHM pretty much took over everything else in my life.
So, the pros.
I get to see my babies every second of every day and watch them grow up. I get to teach them and play with them, and I don’t ever have to be away from them. Being a SAHM has taught me so many things about myself and about life. I have the freedom and the financially ability to be a SAHM, and I know that some people don’t. I am the only one raising my children, not a daycare or nanny or a babysitter.
Of course, there are the obvious cons: Not being able to be around your kids all of the time, having someone else around for their milestones, missing out on certain things in their lives, and not being present enough.
For me, the biggest thing is time. Being a SAHM takes every bit of time and energy that you have. I had written a previous post about whether or not being a SAHM was a job, and of course there were plenty of opinions on that. You may think that you will have all of this freedom to get things done, but even sitting here typing this has to be done while 2/4 are napping, and the other two are occupied with a snack and Netflix babysitter. Don’t judge.
While I have been able to continue my Master’s degree, and of course, build my blogging career into something wonderful, being a SAHM has always taken precedent over everything else.
Some of you, at this point, might be thinking that this is selfish thinking or that I don’t appreciate being a mom. You would be wrong, but I see how you could get that idea.
Honestly, I am tired. I don’t feel like I am living up to the expectations I set for myself because I chose to become a mother early on in life. I read something today that said “bloom where you are planted”… I want to agree with that, but it seems to me that if you aren’t thriving in the environment you are in, then it’s time to change the environment.
For me, the decision comes down to this. If I want to be the best for my children, shouldn’t I do everything possible to thrive and be happy? If I am not completely happy with myself or with what I am doing in life, shouldn’t I make a change so that my children grow up with a mother who is happy and fulfilled?
Personally, I think I would be okay with being a “part-time” mom in this sense. Motherhood is, and always has been, my top priority. But, I need some sense of self-accomplishment and some time that just belongs to me. Call me selfish if you want to… this is the reality that some of us as mother’s get to.
I know I am not the only one.
There are so many hard questions to consider when making a decision like this. I can only say that weighing them out and doing what you feel is best for YOUR family, is the only way to truly make the best choice.
Right now, it seems like for the sanity of all parties involved, finishing up my Master’s degree internship and finding more business related things to keep myself busy are going to be the best options… and I feel good about that decision!
What are some of the things that come to your mind when you think about going from SAHM to career mom, or vice versa?
*Cheers to mamas of all backgrounds. May you be fulfilled and happy about what you’re doing*