“Oh, one boy and one girl? Are they identical?”…
Umm, no. They aren’t. Since one is male and the other is female.
I guess this question only pushes the wrong buttons for me because we have twins who are different genders. If you really think about it, it isn’t possible for them to be identical since they are have completely different body parts.
When people ask me this, I always feel bad when I tell them “no”, because as soon as I do, it’s like a light clicks on with the obviousness of that answer.
I love having twins. It is something that I have always joked about wanting but never thought I would have, now we do! You can read the twins’ birth story here.
I try not to have negative feelings when we go out in public and get the constant “ooohs” and “awes”, not to mention the 20 questions that we play with every. single. person.
Questions People Ask When You Have Twins
The question that makes me laugh every time we walk in somewhere with two infant car seats is,
“Are they twins?”
Even if they were only 11 months apart, there is no way we would be carrying an 11-month-old in a car seat with another infant as well. Unless, we were trying to get an intense arm workout in that day.
“One of each?” is always the next question on the list before, “Are they identical?“. I wonder if people with twins of the same gender have different feelings about these questions. This gets asked every 5/10 people, which is a pretty high percentage for a question with a seemingly obvious answer for our particular “type” of twins”.
The one that I really dislike, only because of its personal nature, is,
“Were they conceived naturally?”
First of all, even though they were and we didn’t have to go through process of fertility treatments, which I’m sure isn’t easy, it really isn’t the business of a stranger how they were conceived. I get that those in the medical field find it interesting because it doesn’t happen all of the time, but strangers at the store don’t need to know about how my children were conceived, in my opinion. To be fair, I’m never rude and I always give a short “yes” to answer this question. But I would like to tell people that they weren’t, and that they’re aliens, just so I can see their facial expression.
“Did you have a c-section?”
Do not EVER ask a mom this question unless you know her, because you never know how she feels about her birth experience. (Want to know my thoughts?) Not to mention the fact that it really isn’t your business either, just like the previous question. This is an extremely sensitive subject.
P.S. Not all multiples are born by c-section.
“These are your first, right?” Nope… two more.
“How old?” Almost 2, & 3.
Then, we just get the look. Or a “good luck”, “bless you”, or “wow”. I don’t know if this question happens more because of the fact that we’re a younger couple, or because it’s difficult to believe we could have other children due to how exhausted we look.
Do you have twins or are a twin? What about a mom with a new baby? What are the best questions you’ve been asked?
*Here’s to people slightly lacking when filtering their questions to strangers*
I’m not a mom yet, but I loved this post! If was funny and honest and makes me excited for kids 🙂 ps yours are beautiful!!
Thank you so much!
Awe, such a cute photo! You look amazing. One of my aunts had twins. Have a great rest of your week.
Theresa @DearCreatives recently posted…Easy Soup Recipes : Chicken & Green Chilies Enchilada Soup
Oh, cut us a little slack on the identical bit. 🙂 All babies look alike so little! Heck, I have two boys 8 years apart and when you compare their photos at the same age they look like the same kid.
Denise recently posted…Real Minecraft Redstone Lamp for your Kid’s Room (with free printable)
Haha I think it’s only after they find out that they are boy/girl and continue with the identical questions… that’s when it gets strange:)
Oh my goodness! I was just talking with someone at church yesterday and they said they get asked all of the time if their twins are identical…they are 9-year-old boy/girl twins!
Julie @ Girl on the Move recently posted…Be Inspired: Travel Tales #1
That is so funny… I could totally see myself asking someone if the babies were identical!! It always baffles me though that people feel like they have the right to ask if they were conceived naturally?! that is insane.
Lauren recently posted…Boozy Parfaits
Ha ha! I have a friend and she tends to ask personal questions to other moms. It can be kind of embarrassing. I think once you have more than three kids people start asking all sorts of weird questions.
Melissa (Wading Through Motherhood) recently posted…The Benefits of Starting a Parenting Blog
Haha I agree!
I’m a twin mom and yes to all of these!!!
Rosemond Cates recently posted…Poet: The Remarkable Story of George Moses Horton
My boy/girl twins are 4 and I still get the “are they identical ” question too. It drives me crazy! It is crazy how much people believe that they are entitled to know so much about you just because you are in public with your whole family instead of hiding out in your house. I was also really big on them being called babies, I did not and still do not like the term twins. Yes they were born on the same day but they are two completely different kids. I never thought about having multiples but after having them I could never imagine being with out them.
It’s just crazy to me when people ask that! Maybe it wasn’t before I had twins… but I can’t remember what day it is half of the time so there is no way that I can remember life before twins;)
Definitely gives me food for thought. I’m sure I have been guilty of some of these questions before, although certainly not about them being conceived.
Great idea for a post!
MarriedAndNaked (@MarriedAndNaked) recently posted…Strengthen The Foundation Of Your Marriage – Marriage Quote
While I’m not the mother of twins (I’ve always wanted them though), I can sympathize a little. My son is adopted. I do try to acknowledge where the questioner is coming from, however, sometimes they make it really hard! Hang in there, mama, and have fun with those little cuties of yours!
Deborah @ Kentucky to Cali recently posted…Weird things found in the desert
Thank you!:)
Oh my gosh, you are super mom! 4 under 4! It would drive me crazy to have to answer so many personal questions! Please, please use the alien line lol!! You’re children are beautiful!!
Ashleigh recently posted…How to Deal with Teething
Twins look so hard but so fun! And why do people always say such silly things?
Claire recently posted…Registering For Baby #2
They are both, really fun and really difficult:)
The whole identical question cracks me up! I bet people feel so awkward once they realize what they asked. haha Your children are adorable! I always thought it would be so much fun to have twins! I’m sure it is very stressful at times, though. You are a supermom! I also really want 4 kids, so it is always nice to see other big families who are doing well with 4. It is encouraging to me. 🙂
Aww thank you so much! I appreciate that because I sure don’t feel like supermom.
The questions that strangers sometimes have the audacity to ask always amazes me. I’ve been asked things before that literally had me squeezing my butt cheeks together to keep from slapping some sense into them! Lol!
You and your babies are beautiful btw. Such an awesome family! <3
Hahhahaha you are hilarious! “Squeezing my butt cheeks together”, 🙂
Even thou I don’t have twins I can totally understand how you feel. With as many kids as I have I get a ton of “unfiltered” questions that really annoy me. It wasn’t until recently I found out my husband gets bombarded with questions just as silly when I’m not around. It’s been happening so long we just laugh about it at this point.
Samantha recently posted…The Virtual School Blues
It’s so funny. My husband rarely has the kiddos without me around, but he thinks the questions we get are super silly too.
haha oh man! the things people ask!
Alyssa recently posted…currently
This post is so funny. People really asked so crazy question without knowing anything. I love the Meme.
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