“Oh, one boy and one girl? Are they identical?”…
Umm, no. They aren’t. Since one is male and the other is female.
I guess this question only pushes the wrong buttons for me because we have twins who are different genders. If you really think about it, it isn’t possible for them to be identical since they are have completely different body parts.
When people ask me this, I always feel bad when I tell them “no”, because as soon as I do, it’s like a light clicks on with the obviousness of that answer.
I love having twins. It is something that I have always joked about wanting but never thought I would have, now we do! You can read the twins’ birth story here.
Questions People Ask When You Have Twins
The question that makes me laugh every time we walk in somewhere with two infant car seats is,
“Are they twins?”
Even if they were only 11 months apart, there is no way we would be carrying an 11-month-old in a car seat with another infant as well. Unless, we were trying to get an intense arm workout in that day.
“One of each?” is always the next question on the list before, “Are they identical?“. I wonder if people with twins of the same gender have different feelings about these questions. This gets asked every 5/10 people, which is a pretty high percentage for a question with a seemingly obvious answer for our particular “type” of twins”.
The one that I really dislike, only because of its personal nature, is,
“Were they conceived naturally?”
First of all, even though they were and we didn’t have to go through process of fertility treatments, which I’m sure isn’t easy, it really isn’t the business of a stranger how they were conceived. I get that those in the medical field find it interesting because it doesn’t happen all of the time, but strangers at the store don’t need to know about how my children were conceived, in my opinion. To be fair, I’m never rude and I always give a short “yes” to answer this question. But I would like to tell people that they weren’t, and that they’re aliens, just so I can see their facial expression.
“Did you have a c-section?”
Do not EVER ask a mom this question unless you know her, because you never know how she feels about her birth experience. (Want to know my thoughts?) Not to mention the fact that it really isn’t your business either, just like the previous question. This is an extremely sensitive subject.
P.S. Not all multiples are born by c-section.
“These are your first, right?” Nope… two more.
“How old?” Almost 2, & 3.
Then, we just get the look. Or a “good luck”, “bless you”, or “wow”. I don’t know if this question happens more because of the fact that we’re a younger couple, or because it’s difficult to believe we could have other children due to how exhausted we look.
Do you have twins or are a twin? What about a mom with a new baby? What are the best questions you’ve been asked?
*Here’s to people slightly lacking when filtering their questions to strangers*