Our life for the past weeks has been surgery talk, hospitals, and a mom who just doesn’t seem like herself. Not to mention, my mom went home earlier in the week and we are all NOT HAVING IT. This hysterectomy recovery has been a lot harder than I thought.
On Tuesday, I hit one week post-op, and it felt like the longest week ever. I was released from the hospital 2 days after the surgery, thankfully, because I was ready to break out of there.
For those that don’t know, here is my preparing for a hysterectomy post and the reasons behind my surgery.
The surgery itself went great. The doctor said it could not have gone better, which I like to hear. My fibroid was about 5 lbs, and the before and after is honestly crazy to me.
I guess because I lived with it for so long, I never thought about it too much. It was obviously super noticeable, I just dealt with it. Now that it’s not there, it’s amazing what a difference it makes.
I ended up having a total hysterectomy, but got to keep my ovaries, which I am super thankful for.
The recovery itself has been painful, but manageable. I went off of the medication about four days after surgery, mostly because I felt like I was living in a brain fog. I already live with anxiety, and didn’t need anything else clouding my mental state.
The doctor has given me a 6 week healing time before workouts or anything like that. I am really trying to cope with the fact that I cannot do Crossfit for the next few weeks, because I miss it so much. But, I am looking forward to the fact that I won’t have something hindering me in my workouts when I am cleared to exercise again!
The nerve and muscle pain may be the worst, only because everything seems so tense and tight at times. It makes sense, considering, that everything on the inside is trying to right itself again. I am really following the “no lifting, no twisting” rules (since I am not doing well at following much else in terms of the post op rules).
Part of me feels guilty for having to take the time to heal, for not being my normal self around my kids, and for struggling to just bounce back. Truth be told, my body and my emotions are just struggling right now. For the first little while I was essentially numb from dealing with the physical pain. Now that I have that semi-controlled, the emotional waves are INTENSE.
There have been a lot of tearful days and moments when I felt so frustrated with everything that was going on. It is really overwhelming for me, mentally, to go from being a Type A-get everything done-control freak, to having to sit and take the time to let myself heal.
Grace. That is what I have to tell myself every day. Everyone keeps telling me to take it easy and to give myself time… and I’m trying. Also, my girl friends will probably come hunt me down if I don’t (they have all threatened as much ;)).
I love and appreciate all of the support so much, but honestly, I can’t help what is in my own head. I wish I could un-feel the fear and anxiety, but all I can do is try to prevent it from controlling me and trust that He is in control.
Thankfully, this period in my life has also allowed me to see other things so much more clearly. My relationship with my husband, the importance of every moment spent with my children, and above all, my faith in God.
I am so thankful that there have really been no negative thoughts about not having anymore children. God blessed me with four beautiful babies, and I am beyond thankful for each of them. No part of me feels lacking in that area, or less than because I no longer have the ability to. I pray that if you are going through this, you feel the same way!
I’m taking every moment and cherishing it as much as I can, and trying to remember that all of the emotions that are flooding me right now are normal, and the result of a major surgery and a major organ being removed from my body.
*Here’s to allowing ourselves to heal during hysterectomy recovery, and any time that we need to*