This post is going to be something a little different then usual… and MUCH closer to home for me.

Recently,  I have really been feeling like I need to re-evaluate the people who I surround myself with. With two little girls, a husband, a home, a Master’s program and the hours spent daily on this blog, it is important to have people in my life that support me and that are uplifting, not constantly negative and completely oblivious to what’s going on in my life.

I’m busy, yes. I’m a mom and that’s a full-time job in and of itself, duh. That doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to have real and deep friendships.

Sadly, when you take the time to look at your relationships with those around you, it makes you really take a harder look at what they are bringing into your life.

One of the things that I can not deal with when it comes to people calling themselves a “friend” is selfishness. I work hard to be the most loving, caring and loyal friend I can be because I don’t make extremely close friends very easily. The introvert in me makes more of a “handful of besties” type rather than a “best friends with everyone” type. Not that this is bad, I quite love the bonds that I have with my few super close friends.

pinky swear

Troubles In Friendships

We all have those friends somewhere in our lives that don’t give as much as the take in the friendship. They may think that you doing everything and anything  for them partnered with their being there when it’s convenient for them is an appropriate way to have a friendship. It may even be that they take advantage of your friendship with them, or treat you like some sort of acquaintance rather than a person that they care about and value.

The immediate reaction that I have to this and to rudeness is anger. But I’m not upfront and “in you face” with my anger. I’m good at putting on a happy face and waiting until I’m no longer around that person to fume and vent about them (usually to my husband, poor guy). Mind you I said “vent“, not “gossip”.  These are two completely different animals… we will save that for another day.

It feels like we want to force those people to change and see the error in their ways. Maybe even get them to say “thank you” for the love that you pour into the friendship even though you get next to nothing in return. Not that we need the appreciation, it’s just nice to hear sometimes.


Have you ever tried to make a mean person nice? It seems almost impossible to do.

But in all reality, what does repaying evil and rudeness with more evil and rudeness do? Have you ever tried to take revenge on someone, especially a friend who you are fighting with, and it just starts a war? Eventually that friendship will be broken and ruined because it can never fully come back after that.

Repay evil with good. Romans 12:21

Those that are rude and the largest annoyance are the ones that we are supposed to love the most, even though this is by far the hardest thing to do. It seems almost impossible to continue working hard in a friendship and loving your friend when the other person is not putting in the same amount of effort.

So why do it? Why be by kind and show goodness towards these types of people?

Well, in my opinion, we do it because if we try to take revenge and let pride get the better of our being treated poorly, then we are no better than the “friends” that were not so great to us to begin with. It puts us right down there on the same level.

As I look at the friends I have and how much they all mean to me, I realize that the ones that are the most frustrating and the ones that seem not to care, are the ones that I need to be the kindest to. If ever the phrase “kill them with kindness” meant something in my life, it is right now.

I do have some really wonderful, life-long friends that I am beyond thankful for. Not to mention in the past month or so, I have developed some wonderful relationships with other bloggers, and ladies that I would, without hesitation, now call my “friends” . All of these people are so support, quick to help when I ask for it, and have shown me nothing but kindness and appreciation for just being myself.

little girls hugging


To all my friends out there, I love you all. Thank you for being you!

*Cheers to showing love to those that don’t always love us*

joanna at motherhood and merlot