We are at the four-month mark since the twins have been born.

These four months have been filled with a lot of joy, a lot of tears, and both good and bad moments. It has been a rocky start since the twins made their appearance into the world, but I am so thankful for every day that is spent with my children. They make life beautiful:)

twins at four months

Four Months Postpartum

Another month has passed and it seems like the time is flying by, but moving so slowly at the same time.

If you have been following my postpartum journey, you know that it has been full of doctors, anxiety, tears, and a lot not knowing. If you haven’t been following, the link above is a little catch up for you.

I have shared a lot on this blog aimed towards those dealing with postpartum anxiety, and I still feel so much for those that have to struggle through things like this, because I have now experienced it for myself. This month, the anxiety was actually much better than in previous months. Still there, but better. The panic attacks have subsided and I think it peaked at around 3 months so hopefully it won’t go back uphill.

The doctor’s prognosis’ this month have not been great. It seems like the c-section just triggered a bunch of things in my body, like a lot of major surgeries can do. My newest OBGYN says that I need to have a hysterectomy in the near future… I am going to see an acupuncturist and try some herbal therapies to treat it first. I will be sure to give updates on how that process goes.

I have been diagnosed with reflux now, which is terrible. I have an upcoming MRI to rule out a few things, mostly because of nerve problems and headache issues. My neurologist is excellent and very thorough, which I appreciate so much! I cannot stand doctors that beat around the bush. Praying for good results on that front.

I also have surgery this Friday for an area of skin cancer that was found on my face, right underneath my eye. I am extremely nervous about this seeing as it is another surgical procedure that I never planned on having. Sigh… such is life. When it rains it pours right?

I have slowly started to get back into my exercise routine, which you can read about here… emphasis on SLOWLY. It does make me feel much better to workout and to get moving but I am still plagued by a lot of physical symptoms that make it tough.

Emotionally, it is still a daily battle. Every day is a struggle, but it is a battle that I am willing to fight for my family and my children. Through all of this, God has given us so many provision through our family and our friends that I could not even begin to explain my thankfulness for. It has been truly amazing and I feel the love, prayers, and support surrounding our family.

inner strength

Click to read some ways I make life a little less overwhelming.

Twins at Four Months

twins 4 months

Annabelle is pushing 11 pounds and has finally moved to 3 month clothing. She is getting stronger everyday and even though she’s small, she definitely lets us know that she’s there! She has quite the set of lungs on her and that high pitch is something that cannot be ignored, as you can see in the picture above. But, her smile is one of the best things in the world and we adore our youngest girl. She is almost rolling over, not quite there yet though.

Oliver is our one and only boy as you may know, but I adore that sweet little man so. There is a special place in a mother’s heart for all of her children, but I never knew about the bond between and mother and son. It’s something really amazing. mommy and ollie

He is around 15 pounds and this point and is such a strong boy. He is rolling all over the place and practicing sitting up already. He is dying to crawl, but hasn’t quite figured out how to get his legs underneath of him.

The twins are cooing and giggling all the time now. Their little smiles and laughs just light up my life with so much joy. They are both completely formula fed, and I will be starting them on real food here soon. I have always starting my children on actual food at around 4.5 months old and it seems to work well. Annabelle might be a little longer, but I prefer to give them real nutrients from fruits and vegetables as soon as they are ready for it.

They are both healthy and happy though, which is what matters to me. Life is a crazy ride with our four little ones, but we are blessed beyond measure.

*Here’s to our sons and daughters, the pieces that make our hearts whole*

joanna at motherhood and merlot