When I first had Rylan I was only 19 and I had no clue what I was doing. Being a teenager and being a mom at the same time was hard. I learned that everything comes to you. Learning to feed, burp, bathe him, soothe him, comfort him, and enjoying another human being in your life. There was times where I didn’t know if I was going to be good at being a mom. Then two years later..I was pregnant with my second child.
Trying to handle a 2-year-old and a newborn was quite the task. It’s a challenge that’s for sure. But I learned that I was able to handle it, multitask, and be good at it. Now that they’re older, I’m still learning more about myself. My weaknesses when it comes to discipline. My strengths when it comes to being “super mom”. How much love I have for them, is so much different from anyone I ever loved.
This picture was taken after Grayson’s first bath at home. I was tired, and probably smelly, but so so happy. I think as any first time mom, I had so many insecurities about my ability to be a mom. I didn’t grow up around babies, so how was I going to know what he needed? When he was too hot or too cold? When he was hungry or tired? Or even more, would I be able to be so selfless that his needs would always come first?
But as many will tell you, once the doctor laid that little human on my chest, I knew I could do it. And I did. In just the few short days between having Grayson and when this photo was taken, I became: selfless, confident, and strong.
Grayson is two and a half now, I and know that this is exactly who I am supposed to be.
When i got pregnant with my daughter I was still a wild child myself. 1/2 the people I knew thought oh god she does not need to have a baby and the other 1/2 stayed silent and judged from the distance.
I remember that day like it was 15 min ago. I had no idea what i was getting myself into. I had never even changed a baby before! Well, needless to say a few hours after my daughter was born it seemed like my whole thinking process changed in an instant. I now had a little human I had to keep happy and safe.
I took a look around the room before we got released and saw the father of my child and knew I would never love him again. Sounds awful right ? it’s supposed to be a happy moment. We were toxic in a relationship together this is what i needed to get away and out !!
Now, 5 years later, it was the best thing i have ever done !! She made me a better person in every area. Without her I still wouldn’t be enjoying life. Now she has a little brother, I’m happily married in an awesome relationship, and we are learning and growing everyday.
As for my own experience in the first days of motherhood… In those first few moments and days that I experienced as a mother, there were a lot of mixed emotions. That beautiful baby that you had been carrying is here and needs you now, more than ever!
I learned that things will not always be easy (understatement of the century) and that you can’t do everything on your own. I learned that leaning on my husband was going to help me get through the hardest of times, when the baby is up at all hours of the night and you are so exhausted that you can’t think straight.
I also learned that life as I knew it before the moment she was born will never be the same. That doesn’t mean that you won’t enjoy it or that all the fun is gone, because to me, being a mom is the most fun I have ever had! But, things will change and you have got to grow up and mature with those changes.
The last thing that I learned in the first seconds that my first baby was born is that there is no other love in the world like a parent has for their child.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you beautiful moms out there:)