I yelled at my older girls today (2 and 3 years old). Full blown, at the top of my lungs. I’m not proud of it, but it happened.
The frustration of the day had just gotten to me. I had all 4 of my children screaming or crying at the same time and my two oldest were not listening to anything (like they ever do…). I have a set of 3-month-old twins to go along with my two toddlers, and the fact that they just do not listen to me because….? Who knows. Because I’m mom? Because they are with me all day? Because I don’t have the same commanding presence as Dad?
I had so many things that I was trying to get done, and had asked them to do the same thing at least 10 times. The twins were screaming to be fed, I was trying to change their diapers, and there were toys EVERYWHERE. They had already been in timeout for not listening, and toys were already being taken away. Still, they refused to do what I asked repeatedly, almost like I wasn’t even there telling them to do so.
It’s not like this was the first day that they hadn’t listened either. Since the twins were born, we’ve all been going through an adjustment. Plus, I have children in the testable 3’s, the terrible 2’s, and the infant stages.
So, in my complete frustration, I yelled. No, I screamed. I yelled in almost a begging frustration for them to, “Please just listen to me!”
Someone tell me you’ve been there too… please. So I don’t feel utterly alone in this mom guilt I have for doing it.
Being a mom is not easy. There are good days, but it is never easy.
Being a mom is hard.
When we went from being a family of three with just our one daughter, to 4 when our second was born, the transition wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t difficult. There were moments that were much harder than others but I thought I could handle it.
I was that young mom who thought I needed to look like I had it all together. The girls were always matching, I was always dressed up and full-glam when we went out, the house was never dirty when we had guests, even if they were family. I wanted to prove that I had this motherhood thing down and it was going to be a piece of cake.
Wrong. Rookie Mistake.
It is not a piece of cake. It’s a hot mess.
Yes, there are days that are smoother than others when your children do everything you ask them to and there is no arguing, screaming, or tears. I’ve never had one of those days, but I am sure they exist somewhere.
To the mama reading this, don’t be so hard on yourself. Motherhood is not all rainbows and shiny, perfect things. It’s messy, there will be tears, and sometimes you will yell. We’ve all been there! You are not alone in it.
You can use my tips for making the days a little less overwhelming, and creating three small wins for yourself to start the day (click to check out that post).
As moms, we don’t have to be this picture perfect image that you see in parenting magazines. Someone needs to develop one where they actually show pictures of mom reality, versus what they show now. Let’s be honest, we don’t want to see that perfectionist crap. This, coming from a self-proclaimed (former) perfectionist.
Other mom’s have bad days too and even if they won’t admit it, motherhood is a tough thing. It’s a beautiful, amazing blessing… but it is also one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. You are going to have those times where you literally want to pull your hair out, or scream, or lock yourself in your room and just cry… Yes, even if you are not a crier, this will happen.
If you see another mom with her kids yelling in the grocery store, or with a screaming infant in a restaurant, don’t throw her that judgmental stare. Give her the look that you wish someone would give to you on your bad days as a mom.
The look that says, “I get you. I’ve been there”.
Keep your head up mama. You’ll get through it:)
*Cheers to all the moms who have bad days*
Great post! I totally relate, and although I have had these days I’m learning how to find a place of calm in the crazy!
Bethany Magnie recently posted…Finding Inner Peace Throughout Parenthood
It’s so true! That’s why our tagline around here is “finding joy in the crazy”.
I love it! Thanks for sharing!
Great post! It helps to know there are other women who have hard days…or weeks, too. Just last night I was frustrated and yelled at my 2 year old. It really wasn’t his fault but I took my frustrations out on him. Luckily, right now he is still quick to forgive. We all have hard days, especially as moms! Thanks for sharing this!
Brittany recently posted…Healthier Halloween Food Ideas
It’s so true. We all have those days… patience just reaches its end point sometimes:)
You are so not alone. I feel like this and at present I only have one child in her terrible two’s. I have another one on the way and I know there is going to be an adjustment period. I know that there is going to be really tough days.
I have been were you are and I felt HORRIBLE for yelling half way through yelling. It’s beyond frusterating when your kid(s) don’t listen and ignore you.
You’re not alone.
Excellent post!
There will be! But then there will be good days that you can cling too:) Thank you!
Every mom has been there. I’ve had my unproud moments too. And mom guilt is a forever companion of my day.
Kate recently posted…Wrestling With The Rolls
I think it is for all of us:)
I have yelled before and felt horrible about it! I agree that we shouldn’t judge other moms when they are having a hard day.
Melissa (Wading Through Motherhood) recently posted…Why I Sent My Kids to Preschool
So right! You can just never tell what type of day someone else is having, especially other moms:)
Oh my gosh! I haven’t finished watching your scope because I had to get to car rider line (yippe!…no.) so it’s a perfect time to read the post you referred to. Its so true: we need to give ourselves a break.
I don’t know how many times hubs has come home saying, “you yell too much.” —although I walk away, I’m thinking, “wait…what!??!” Aaaarrrrgggg! And then I breathe, knowing I’m not alone. Sheesh…I’m not beating them and I didn’t just get to drive home in peace and quiet and unwind after a long hard day….ok I’ll stop. Thanks for a great post!
Jackie recently posted…A Simple Way to Build Momentum (+ Keep It)
Hahah oh husbands… we love them, but if they aren’t home with the kids all day like we are it’s hard for them to understand I think at times.
I totally understand where you’re coming from. When my son was about to turn two, all I ever did was yell at him because he just didn’t seem to listen. Oftentimes kids get out of control when they need something. That’s what I tell myself whenever I lose my self control with the little guy. This pregnancy hasn’t helped. Being exhausted and caring more weight around while our toddler begs for something.. Whatever it may be, will drive you up the wall.
I’ve looked at other moms in similar situations out in public and I often smile at them and say, “I know the feeling.”
Hope your Monday gets better. Sending hugs your way.
It’s great that you do that;) I bet those others moms really appreciate it even if they don’t say it.
We’ve had some tough days around here lately. All you can do is your best. Sometimes I have to take a step back to make myself realize that it’s not really that big of a deal.
That’s so true. At the time it might feel like a way bigger deal than it actually is.
As a mom…I have been there too. By the time my 2nd child was born, glam had went out the window. I have 3 children now and it’s a struggle to keep everything in control at times. You never know what will happen. Stay strong mamma…there will be plenty of good days.
Thank you mama!
Oh yes. I feel like a mean mom all the time. I just get frustrated and let the yelling come out because otherwise, I feel like I’m not even heard. Being a mommy is super hard. Especially with twins….mine are three right now!
Shann Eva recently posted…Micro Preemie Mondays and Henry
Well, the fact that you have made it this far with three-year-old twins gives me hope for mine that are only a few months:)
OK, I legit had tears reading this. It made me emotional because even though I only have one, I can completely relate. I yelled at my daughter a few times last week, and then she cried and I felt like the worst mother on the face of the planet. Some days everything seems to just fall perfectly into place while others are a chaotic mess of toddler craziness. I wonder how some days I feel like I have it all together and other days one small things make me lose my sh*t?! This post made me feel more human, and more like a “normal” mom! <3
Sending lots of love to you lady! I know that we all go through those times that are just hard… sometimes we yell. We are all only human:)
Thanks!! This article came at to view at just the right moment 🙂
Kim recently posted…General Conference is over, NOW What???
Oh Joanna I so feel you! I’ve had many moments like this this week as well. Except I only have one! And you’re like my mommy hero! Thanks for sharing that you also have bad days. It’s helpful to hear we’re not alone! 🙂
You are so sweet:)
Oh momma I have been there! You would get a compassionate look from me if I saw you in the store. Sending love your way <3
Jamie | The Kitchenarium recently posted…15 Recipes to Get Dinner on the Table
Thank you!!! I appreciate any and all compassionate looks I can get;)
You are so encouraging. We all have those moments and it’s nice to know that other moms can relate and won’t judge you for them. Thanks for always opening up and being there for others, you are delightful.
I only have one kid and some days it is hard. I couldn’t imagine 2 toddlers and twin babies! Good job momma!
Brittany recently posted…The Easiest Way To Deep Clean Your Trash Cans
Thank you! It is not easy, no matter how many you have:)
I remember those trying times but, somehow we manage to get through it. I remember getting on the phone with my family when I needed. I’d give myself a time out!
Theresa @DearCreatives recently posted…Craft Projects: Easy Halloween Craft Party Favors
I really hear you on this one!! My 2 year old drew all over the couch the other day (again) and I really flipped out… felt so bad after I actually cried. Thank you so much for the post… it’s the worst feeling when you feel like a total #momfail but afterwards, I said I was sorry to her and she hugged me back and said it was okay and that she loved me so much. They forgive us for our downfalls, no matter what. So keep on moving! One day we’ll all laugh about that time we flipped out because she used to color on the couch ALL THE TIME!! LOL
Cristin Xavier recently posted…5 Tips for Getting Your Workout In When You Really Don’t Want to