Writing Has Saved Me.

I am someone who chronically suffers from anxiety since postpartum, as well as bouts of minor depression. This is something that I have tried to naturally deal with on my own. It isn’t easy, during the times when I am at my lowest, to get out what I want to say. Normally, it is during these times that I close myself off to the world and I don’t want to take to anyone.

In these moments, writing has saved me.

how writing has saved me and helped me grow through the good and the bad.It has allowed me to share about my postpartum anxiety, speak on how it has changed my life, and also share natural ways of dealing with it. It has given me a community in those that are experiencing the same thing.

I have also found that since I have dealt with these things in the past few years, I have become much more sensitive and much more vulnerable. My thick skin is lacking in a way that it never had before, and my sensitivity to the things going on around me is at an all time high. I can’t explain why, but the things people say and do affect me so much more than they ever have.

When people misconstrue me for someone I am not, it cuts me to the core, when normally it would roll off my back and I would move on. I have melt downs when people take something that I say the wrong way, and I cannot seem to explain myself. It is a mystery to me in trying to figure out what clicked that I know care so much about what people think.

In these times, writing has saved me.

When I feel broken about some situation that has occurred, or I can’t seem to shake something that someone has said to me, I write. You may not see if here, and I may not even share it with anyone else, but it is so therapeutic and allows me to share my feelings out loud, even if it is only for my eyes to see and for my heart to pray over. I can come back to these words in my moments with the Lord and work through them when the time is right.

There are times when I am overly excited about something. I may have gotten a wonderful opportunity, but no one around me seems to understand because blogging and writing are not something that is a part of their world.

In these moments, writing has saved me.

It has allowed me to share my triumphs, my passions, my achievements, with those who understand them. It gives me a place to be excited about the things that are happening in my life, and people to share those joys with outside of my family and friends, who really know where I am coming from.

We also all go through hard times, and some are harder than others. There are moments when I feel like everything in my life is in flux and I can’t seem to take a breath. There is nothing falling into place, all of the choices I have are just confusing to me, and it is seemingly impossible to make sense of what is going on around me.

In these periods of life, writing has saved me.

There is a community that is built around writers. When you go through hard times like these and write about them, there are people who you don’t even know, and some that you do, who lift you up with inspiring and encouraging words. This isn’t to demean the importance of face-to-face support, but it is my firm belief that you do not need to live in the same city as someone for them to be one of your biggest supporters during hard times.

There are a lot of things in life that change. Although this blog may not be around forever (although I hope it is for a long while) one thing that I know for sure is that I will always continue to write.

Write for others, write for you all, write for myself… because writing has saved me.

joanna at motherhood and merlot

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23 comments

  1. Ugh, me too sister. I’ve battled anxiety most of my life and writing has been a great way to find truth. When I write my thoughts, it’s so much easier to separate the truth from the lies and let those negative thoughts go. I have an entire blog I don’t write in anymore but it’s great to go back and see how much I’ve grown from those tortured posts. I’m glad you shared- we aren’t meant to do life alone!
    Michelle
    Oh My Nosh! Nutrition and Wellness

  2. Writing and blogging has been a lifesaver for me as well. I love having this community of other moms that are there for me and I can share my feelings with. Just because we may not know someone in real life doesn’t mean they aren’t important to us. I love everything you write Joanna! Keep it up.

  3. Combating anxiety without medication is a huge endeavour. You should really be proud of what you’ve accomplished. Writing keeps me sane too. Writing, yoga, exercise in general and wine (When I’m not pregnant). You are such a beautiful person inside and out. I love your raw honesty.

  4. I love this post. I actually created my blog back in the high school days to be used as a diary of sorts to chronicle my thoughts/feelings to help me deal with anxiety and depression, not thinking it would take off or go anywhere. I too feel like writing saved me.
    Keep on writing, girl. It soothes the soul.

    Christie’s Take on Life. x

  5. I am so glad that you have shared this post. I think it is safe to say that for anyone that blogs, writing has become an outlet. It is a way to get your thoughts and feelings out of your head. Furthermore, it is a way of building a community. I’m sure so many people that have gone through similar situations feel supported and comforted in a way by reading your words and your experiences. I love this post!
    Victoria Graham recently posted…6 Ways To Make A Small Space Feel LargerMy Profile

  6. So many yesses. When I can’t talk about my feelings because I don’t even understand them myself, I start wiring them out. Using my words is so much more productive than spinning out of control. Using my words helps me understand myself and helps others understand me too. Love this piece lady, keep on writing.

  7. Writing is theraputic! I have loved reading about your journey through PPA, not that I am glad you are struggling with it, but I love that you are taking something hard you are going through and using it to help others. God is using your struggles for the good of others as you help other mommas struggling through the hard times.
    Rebekah Thompson recently posted…Thriving During the First Year PostpartumMy Profile

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