50 Shades of Black | No “50 Shades of Grey” for Me

There has been a lot of discussion on social media about the recent release of the “50 Shades of Grey” film. It seems like you either really enjoy the movie and the books, or you detest them.

If you don’t know what it is about, it is said to be the “erotic love story” of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele. Whether or not you can call it a “love story” is highly debatable.

There are some that would say this is nothing more than an extremely detailed book about the relationship between a man and a woman, that may have strange sexual fetishes. There are also some that say this is comparable to the “Twilight” series, except on a more adult scale. I personally do not see the two as even close.

To be clear, I have never seen the movie or read the books. I refuse to. I have never been one for the extremely sexual romance novels and films to begin with, so when I read the summary of the book series and the reviews that people were giving (aka “Mommy Porn), it was very easy for me to stay away.

Since I have strong feelings about this particular subject, and now that many people have had the chance to either see it or form their opinions, I thought that I would share mine.

50 shades of grey review

Why I Won’t Watch or Read “50 Shades of Grey”

“50 Shades of Grey” is nothing more than a glorified case of an overly controlling and abuse man who takes advantage of a young woman. He uses charm, expensive gifts, and good looks to basically get her to do whatever he wants, especially when it comes to sexual acts.

You can tell just by reading the plot line and seeing the previews for the film that this is in no way about romance. The main character seems to be a complete dirt bag who needs some serious therapy.

For women that have suffered from being in an abusive relationship, either mentally or physically, this entire series is so offensive in more ways than one. The author turned one person’s story, regardless of the fact that it is fiction, into a “best seller” and a huge box office hit. But I wonder, did that author think of the women that have actually been in situations like this and who have gotten sucked in to abuse or control by a man’s charm and/or money?

Even for women who have never been in any kind of abusive relationship, doesn’t this anger you to see? I am not angry because people choose to do what they want sexually in their relationship. To each his own. But the dominating and controlling nature of the relationship that the two have is so far beyond “okay”. I know that I would never want my own daughter’s growing up to think that this how a “normal” relationship could be.

Not only does it make women out to be weak and vulnerable to a man’s charms, but it shows that men who treat women like garbage can still get whatever they want from them. As a woman, this angers and disgusts me. With all the struggles that women have gone through to gain equality with men, the complete inferiority of a woman (Anastasia) to a man (Christian), being portrayed in the plot line is unbelievable.

When it comes to people reading this just for pleasure, not taking it seriously, and the use of the term “mommy porn”, I want to stay away from it even more. There is no way that I would be okay with my husband reading a book like this, or feel right about going to see a movie like this as a married woman. Personally, it would be the same as my husband going to a strip club, which I am so completely against and repulsed by that I can’t even get into that.

I am also someone who has never been okay with pornography of any kind, which in reality, is what this movie has turned into. Soft core porn on the big screen. Even when my husband and I first started dating, there was an understanding that porn was not something acceptable in our relationship. As a married couple, with the vows that we took before God, there is no way that we would allow something like pornography into our relationship. There is a campaign going around that I have noticed titled “Porn Kills Love”. I could not agree with this message more.

Why doΒ  I call this “50 Shades of Black?” Because it is filled with all things dark, dirty, and disturbing in our society today that some would label as “acceptable”. As a woman, as a wife, as a mother, and as someone who has experienced abuse in the past, I would say to stay as far away from this as possible.

I have heard from people on both sides of this debate. I have seen people who were originally fine with it go to see the movie, and absolutely hate it for some of the reasons I listed. If you have watched and/or read it, I would love to know whether or not your feelings have now changed from before you saw the movie or read the book?

*Here’s to not showing support to trashy literature*

joanna at motherhood and merlot

 

 

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16 comments

  1. I won’t be reading these books or seeing the movie either. I think it’s sad that anyone is filling their minds with this, but I especially worry about the kids that are getting permission to see this movie. All we are doing is filling their minds with images of love that are completely corrupt. So sad that this is what society and the media have come to.
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  2. I have read 1/2 the book and put it down because it was just stupid. I won’t see the movie because I have no interest but I won’t look ill at others that decide to love the book or love the movie. Only adults should be seeing this movie and it is their choice. There are so many movies out there that are too violent or too sexual but it is freedom of speech. Right?

    1. It is absolutely freedom of speech and their right to see whatever they want. I don’t judge people for seeing it, this is just my opinion on it and why I will not be seeing the film or reading the books.

  3. Thank you for writing this! I haven’t read the books or saw the movies and it’s for some of the reasons you posted above. I’ve never been in an absolve relationship, but reading a few excerpts from the book made me furious. If I were to have a daughter I would never want her to find a man like that and I feel like there’s going to be a whole generation of girls who are looking for someone like this and thinking that’s what a relationship should be like.

    1. I think that part of the reason this who series initially caught my attention in a negative way is because of the fact that they are just setting the stage for this horrible view of relationships, and will continue to do so. I would never, in a million years, want my daughter’s to get even the smallest thought that this type of relationship is normal, appropriate, or healthy.

    1. Thank you:) I think it’s important that women especially have their own opinions, and at the same time, respect the opinions of others! I am also really glad to hear that I am not missing anything.

  4. I completely agree with this. I don’t understand how this series and the movie have so many fans. I think the popularity of it is based solely on the shock and sex aspects of it. Nothing more. In a society where women are trying to progress and gain more equality, we don’t need books and movies like this that are marketed to women and trying to advertise abuse of women in a positive light.

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