How do you Know When you Need a Break as a Mom?

I have reached a point right now where I feel like all that I want is a glass of wine, on my own private island. (Click logo to Tweet this)

Tweet: I feel like all that I want is a glass of wine, on my own private island.
Anyone with me on this??

As a mom, it gets really difficult for me to take a break, shut my brain off of mom mode, and just take a minute to myself. Does anyone else feel like even though you want to take a break, it’s so difficult to do.

There comes a point when you just have to take a break. You NEED alone time, you NEED some space away from you kids, and you NEED to be able to find yourself outside of your identity as a mom. That’s what people tell me at least.

Sleepy young women with pillow and sleeping eye mask still on.

When you Need a Break as a Mom

I think my breaking point was when my husband said something to me. He didn’t just say something, he almost demanded it in the most passive way possible.

Now, I am the stubborn one in our family, not him. So when he tells me that I need to do something, I really know that he means it.

He basically told me that I had to take some time each week for myself. Whether that be an hour, or multiple hours, I needed to go do something on my own and for myself. This could be taking one of the kids out for one-on-one time (which I sadly never get the chance to do… but read about my thoughts on taking an “adult time out“), or taking the older girls out, or just going to do something on my own. BY MYSELF.

I don’t even really know what those words mean anymore…

But, I am making an effort. As I sit here and write this I am alone. Yep, ALONE…in a coffee shop, enjoying some time to myself. I forgot what this is like. I won’t lie, it’s a nice feeling

I guess that’s when you know. When you forget what it’s like to be alone, when you forget what you like to do without kids around, when you forget how to function without constantly thinking,

“Who’s crying?

Where are the babies?

What are the girls doing, they’re too quiet?

Who needs a diaper change?” 

All of those are probably a sign that you need a break.

It isn’t a bad thing. It isn’t selfish to want or to need a break for yourself. I say this because I am always one that says how I think it’s selfish of me or how I’m a mom now, so lack of alone time just comes with the territory. So not true.

We deserve time to ourselves. We all know that being a mom is hard, I have written about this exact thing before. It’s better for our kids if we have an identity for ourselves outside of just taking care of them. It’s 110% better for them if we make sure to take some time for ourselves so that we maintain a sense of sanity.

No one wants a mom around that’s about to lose her s*** every 5 minutes.

I have almost reached that point.

Have I forgotten what it’s like to be happy on my own? Have I missed the memo somewhere that said how to keep myself and who I am in all of this parenting craziness?

Maybe.

So, I am taking the time for myself. I am making a conscious effort to give myself a break. I need to find myself again. I have officially lost that woman and she needs to be found again.

What is your trigger” that tells you when you need a break as a mom?

*Here’s to making time for ourselves as moms, wives, and women*

joanna at motherhood and merlot

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21 comments

  1. Taking a break is so difficult, but is desperately needed! It truly takes an army of planning and people sometimes, but if you can coordinate it all, that break is worth it! I started just going for a quick 10 min walk alone after the kids are in bed..it isn’t much but I can relax for just a few moments that way!

  2. My trigger? Whiny tantrumming children. But since my two are 1 and almost 3, it happens a lot and I get no sleep. I don’t know what time to myself or a break is, there is also no time for that. Maybe once a month I can do that. Being a mom is so hard! I would love my husband to say that to me, and more importantly mean it and enforce it!
    Hil recently posted…Why didn’t anyone tell me this before I gave birth?My Profile

  3. This is so honest. I am a firm believer in taking time for yourself each day. Mine is after C is in bed and I crawl into a hot bath and read a book. Sometimes I plan a drink with friends. It’s so important to keep the sanity!

  4. I completely agree. When I’m yelling all the time, and can’t laugh at anything, I know I need a break. I don’t want my kids to think I’m unhappy. Great post.

  5. I am terrible at doing this too. I feel like as a mom I should want to be around my kids 24/7 but I have learned that for my mental/emotional state and their mental/emotional state its best we all have a break from each other.

  6. What is funny is that I JUST said this to my hubby. He owns his own business and I actually get a “break” from this kids when I go work there (just a small beer distributor). We swapped today and he is home with the kids and I am working. While I don’t get to leave the business, I still get to watch whatever I want on TV, read a book, blog, etc. without the distraction of crying, feeding, ya know how it goes!! Good luck to you on getting some mommy time!

  7. Yes, yes yes!! I’m so glad your husband told you that you needed a break. We ALL need breaks sometimes, a moment to breathe and remember who we are as individuals. I’m glad you got to spend some time along in a coffee shop just you. I imagine with four children it’s challenging, but he is right, you need (and deserve) it!

  8. YES! This is what 2016 is about for me. I would completely lose myself in motherhood if I could, but then when the kids leave (and inevitably they will) I have to like the woman they leave behind. I forgot what it was like to go out and do something by myself, but I have only been away from the kids for 2.5 hours by myself so far and it was amazing. Yay for husbands who support and understand our need to get away once in a while.
    Jules Ruud recently posted…Mommy Meet-Up Mondays Week 55My Profile

  9. My pants are the tell tale sign when I need a break. When I am not taking time for myself, I always end up gaining weight. When I am overwhelmed and not getting me time, I get careless with my meals and stop working out. My more me time for 2016 is really helping me get back on track!
    Lauren recently posted…Books My Kids are Loving in JanuaryMy Profile

  10. I can totally relate to this. Sure I only have the one (with the 2nd on the way) but there are definitely times when being the primary care giver, small business owner and PT SAHM is overwhelming. There are days when I just want to curl up under my covers and not move. Which is why, my husband so thoughtfully got me a gift certificate for a pre-natal massage for Christmas. Even he recognizes that we moms just sometimes need a break!

  11. I recently just realized how burnt out I was, and how much I needed a break. So thankful for my husband letting me have a girls day out the other day, it was needed!

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