A little over a week ago, one of my dearest friends had her very first baby! It has been such a wonderful blessing to be there through her pregnancy and to be in the room when her daughter was born.
I remember back when I was a first time mom, and how completely freaked out and overwhelmed I was. I also didn’t have any of my own family living around so I relied solely on the help of my husband, my friend and her husband for any support.
There are a lot of things that a new mom has to deal with, and when we know someone who just had a baby all we want to do is help right? Unfortunately… sometimes there are certain things that are helpful and certain things that just add to what is already an overwhelming time for these new parents.
How to Help a New Mom
- Bring Meals: I cannot tell you how much of a lifesaver it was when I didn’t have to cook after our twins were born. It was amazing! I didn’t have to cook for about two weeks, plus I had my wonderful mom in town looking after us as well and she cooked every night she was here. You don’t want the new parents to have to eat out overnight because they don’t have the energy to cook, and if you are a mom you KNOW how much energy you need for breastfeeding, no sleep, etc…
- Clean: Everything and anything. Whatever needs to get cleaned so that the new mom doesn’t have to deal with it, do it. Some new moms, like myself, have a control freak personality and still want to do everything on their own. So, just do little things here and there instead of taking control of their house. You don’t want to upset an already emotional new mama:)
- Give them a break: Ask the new mama if they want you to come over while they shower, take a nap, sit for a minute alone… whatever it may be. If they don’t want it, do not push the issue. But leave the option open for them so that if they do want, they have the ability to take you up on your offer.
- Don’t go against their wishes: If they don’t like others holding their baby, if they do or don’t want visitors at home/the hospital, if they want things done a certain way when it comes to their new baby, respect those wishes. You have to remember that this is their baby.
- Do not get offended: Don’t be offended if they don’t want you at the hospital. Don’t be offended if they turn down your offer to visit. Don’t be offended if they accidentally snap at you for “holding the baby wrong”. Give these exhausted mamas some grace and know that it isn’t necessarily just you.
New moms are going through a lot. They are trying to navigate being a parent to a newborn, dealing with a whirlwind of emotions, trying to heal from whatever kind of labor and delivery they had, and trying to get back to their other “life duties” on top of all. You want to do everything you can to take even the smallest bit weight off of their shoulders.
*Cheers to the new mamas that we know and love*