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My C-Section Made Me Love My Husband More

I wrote this article originally for Her View From Home, and wanted to share it with all of you. It was difficult for me to write, mostly because of some of the things I had to admit and come to terms with for myself.

I hope in sharing  my story, some of you mamas (or husbands) that have gone through something similar will get so sense of strength and peace from whatever your situation was.


My husband knew what he was getting into when he married me. I am strong willed, independent, and like to do everything on my own. But, the day that my twins were born was the day that my c-section made me love my husband more.

It was an emergency c-section (you can read the full story here), and something I was completely against. Two weeks before, I had told my husband that if this was the way their birth went, I would never be the same. But still, he held me and told me no matter what the outcome, it would all be okay.

c-section made me love my husband moreFor a while, I didn’t love him more. I almost held this anger over him because of all that he had to do for me during that period.

I was independent. I always had been. But, during those months after the surgery, I was solely dependent on him for so much. The anger didn’t stem because he helped me. The anger stemmed because I felt weak and I couldn’t help myself.

It was the most humbling experience of my life.

I had given birth naturally twice before, and that isn’t a bunch of beauty either. It’s a hot mess after you give birth, and I did need some help from my husband. I recovered fairly quickly though and was always able to do things on my own still for the majority of the recovery.

I wasn’t prepared after the birth of the twins…

C-Section Made Me Love My Husband More

For those of you that have never had a c-section or major surgery before, I am going to give you a little run down.

No, it isn’t going to be pretty. The road to recovery for me was months long, and the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life.

First of all,  you can hardly hold your child for the first few hours because the drugs that they give you make you so shaky. The first time my husband had to help me was moments after they were born, helping me hold my brand new babies because I could hardly do it on my own.

Secondly, you can’t get out of bed for a day. You have a catheter, you still can’t feel your legs, and you were quite literally gutted and put back together. You’re not moving. My husband had to get everything for me. The babies, drinks I could’t reach, anything from my bags… I could do nothing. I was confined to a twin size hospital bed.

When you finally can get up, you wish you didn’t have to. It is the hardest experience in the world trying to move around, learn how to walk again with no abdominal or leg strength, and only be able to move at slower than a snail’s pace. My husband had to help me get up from the bed. He had to help me sit down on the toilet, he had to hand me fresh pads at times.

Then, when you leave the hospital, my husband had to help me more. He had to help me shower. Literally. He washed my two day postpartum body, in all of it’s glory, because I couldn’t do it. He had to help me get dressed. He got everything and anything for me. He walked with me around my own home when I was feeling weak. He helped me position the babies to breastfeed.

Then, the postpartum anxiety kicked in. He went with me to every, single doctors appointment. He called doctors for me, he sat with me through full blown panic attacks, he prayed with me, he put up with every crazy health issue that I thought I had without ever questioning me or acting like I was a burden.

I was not the woman he married during that time. I was a shell of myself and it felt as though I was living outside of my own body. I could not be a good wife to him during that time, because I was too busy tearing myself apart.

But, he was there, and he held my hand through every moment, every tear, every appointment, and every breakdown.

Looking back, I was so angry that I had those months of weakness, that it took me almost a year to realize everything that he had done for me. He didn’t care that I was weak or that I needed him. He took that on the day he married me, for better or for worse. He held me at my weakest, loved me at my lowest, and was telling me how much I meant to him even when I was despising him for having to help me.

I love my husband so much more than I ever thought possible, because of my c-section and what we overcame together.

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Do you have that one time that grew you closer to your spouse? 

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*Cheers to my husband, my best friend, and the man who has seen me at my lowest, and loved me anyway*

joanna at motherhood and merlot

15 comments

  1. Childbirth def brought my hubby and I closer… it is such a crazy experience, esp with a csection!
    lauren recently posted…10 Tips to Stay Slim As You AgeMy Profile

  2. I had 2 c sections and can relate to this so much!

  3. It took me a long time to recover too. It does get better, but the disappointment never goes away. It’s amazing how much our husbands are willing to do for us, isn’t it? Even if we are a crazy hot mess (speaking for me being a hot mess, not you<3). Thank you so much for sharing your story. Not everyone knows how difficult it REALLY is.
    Tarynn Playle recently posted…Discovering Washington: 7 Reasons to Visit the San Juan IslandsMy Profile

  4. I can so relate to this!!! Until my c-section I was lucky that I had never been in a situation where i was dependent on anyone. I was not at all prepared for that recovery, let alone caring for my toddler and now newborn. It’s been a year and sometimes I still feel the scars, but it did make my husband and I so much closer.

  5. What a tough experience to go through! I don’t know what it’s like, but I’ve heard it is a very hard thing to endure.
    Theresa recently posted…Back to School Guide & GiveawayMy Profile

  6. Luckily my recoveries were fast with the exception of my first child. That was another story. Time heals those wounds and I’m forever grateful for the help I had.
    Theresa @DearCreatives recently posted…Easy Strawberry Icebox Cake RecipeMy Profile

  7. I didn’t have a C-Section, but I certainly appreciate hearing your experience and perspective. Like you, I am strong-willed and independent. Therefore, I can also relate to feeling helpless and somewhat angry when “needing” to depend on my husband after giving birth. Thank goodness for husbands, though – their love, their patience, and support! <3

  8. I had a c-section. I don’t know why people like to talk like it’s something easy to deal with and like c section moms got away with easy child birth…. Because of that I really didn’t have very much help from anyone besides my hubby. & even then my hubby worked long hours since my daughter was born early and he wasn’t aloud to change his vacation time. He def did the best he could, but yeah, I did most on my own :-/

  9. I couldn’t even imagine recovering from a c-section let alone with two other little ones at home. Recovering from child birth mentally is no easy task and then adding in the surgery aspect, its a lot of work!
    Andria recently posted…The Day Queen Elsa Came to VisitMy Profile

  10. My sentiments are very much the same as most of yours, my husband loves me and my body more than he had ever loved me before which in turn has made me appreciate him and love him even more than words can describe! I will sit and stare at my scar from 4 c sections and his answer is always the same, you are more beautiful now than ever, this scar represents our children and our love, how can I not love this man!

  11. I had my baby in july c section because of difficulties. I had a c section and fevers bc it had became infected 10 days straight without meds responding. In those 10 days and even month after due to my wound opening up and leaking my husband bathed me took me to the br everything you had mentioned plus even packing my wound after leaving the hospital 10 days later for 3 months so that it can heal. I am also very independent and felt broken (still feel unlike myself with how my body changed) but i am greatful to him and saw the amount of love he had for me bathing me and dressing me while i had visitors waiting in the hospital. Terrified everytime i was delirious from a high fever. I have never once seen him cry until all this occurred and broke him. I couldnt love that man more for everything he did and for my beautiful baby boy.

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