I yelled at my older girls today (2 and 3 years old). Full blown, at the top of my lungs. I’m not proud of it, but it happened.
The frustration of the day had just gotten to me. I had all 4 of my children screaming or crying at the same time and my two oldest were not listening to anything (like they ever do…). I have a set of 3-month-old twins to go along with my two toddlers, and the fact that they just do not listen to me because….? Who knows. Because I’m mom? Because they are with me all day? Because I don’t have the same commanding presence as Dad?
I had so many things that I was trying to get done, and had asked them to do the same thing at least 10 times. The twins were screaming to be fed, I was trying to change their diapers, and there were toys EVERYWHERE. They had already been in timeout for not listening, and toys were already being taken away. Still, they refused to do what I asked repeatedly, almost like I wasn’t even there telling them to do so.
It’s not like this was the first day that they hadn’t listened either. Since the twins were born, we’ve all been going through an adjustment. Plus, I have children in the testable 3’s, the terrible 2’s, and the infant stages.
So, in my complete frustration, I yelled. No, I screamed. I yelled in almost a begging frustration for them to, “Please just listen to me!”
Someone tell me you’ve been there too… please. So I don’t feel utterly alone in this mom guilt I have for doing it.
Being a mom is not easy. There are good days, but it is never easy.
Being a mom is hard.
When we went from being a family of three with just our one daughter, to 4 when our second was born, the transition wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t difficult. There were moments that were much harder than others but I thought I could handle it.
I was that young mom who thought I needed to look like I had it all together. The girls were always matching, I was always dressed up and full-glam when we went out, the house was never dirty when we had guests, even if they were family. I wanted to prove that I had this motherhood thing down and it was going to be a piece of cake.
Wrong. Rookie Mistake.
It is not a piece of cake. It’s a hot mess.
Yes, there are days that are smoother than others when your children do everything you ask them to and there is no arguing, screaming, or tears. I’ve never had one of those days, but I am sure they exist somewhere.
To the mama reading this, don’t be so hard on yourself. Motherhood is not all rainbows and shiny, perfect things. It’s messy, there will be tears, and sometimes you will yell. We’ve all been there! You are not alone in it.
You can use my tips for making the days a little less overwhelming, and creating three small wins for yourself to start the day (click to check out that post).
As moms, we don’t have to be this picture perfect image that you see in parenting magazines. Someone needs to develop one where they actually show pictures of mom reality, versus what they show now. Let’s be honest, we don’t want to see that perfectionist crap. This, coming from a self-proclaimed (former) perfectionist.
Other mom’s have bad days too and even if they won’t admit it, motherhood is a tough thing. It’s a beautiful, amazing blessing… but it is also one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. You are going to have those times where you literally want to pull your hair out, or scream, or lock yourself in your room and just cry… Yes, even if you are not a crier, this will happen.
If you see another mom with her kids yelling in the grocery store, or with a screaming infant in a restaurant, don’t throw her that judgmental stare. Give her the look that you wish someone would give to you on your bad days as a mom.
The look that says, “I get you. I’ve been there”.
Keep your head up mama. You’ll get through it:)
*Cheers to all the moms who have bad days*